A Painful Tale . . .

In every lonely man’s life, there were points in time, that in reflection, foretold the coming tale of his solitude and isolation. These moments occurred when the man’s world was rocked so violently that it rattled his basic understanding of the universe. For some, these moments lie in the experience of war.   For others, they can be found in years of being bullied on the elementary school playground.  Even still, they can occur in simpler moments like catching your parents having sex or learning the truth about Santa Claus.

However these moments present themselves, the one guarantee is that there is no going back to life as it was before. They will cause the man to see the once perfect world as inherently flawed, dirty and without reason.

If not dealt with properly, these moments can build up and will eventually destroy one’s innocence, thereby shattering all hopes and dreams. Some say that such moments lead to mental illness while others say that they can cause a man to grow old and bitter.   When a man reaches such a crossroads, he has the option to succumb to the moment or choose to fight.  Only by fighting does that man have the chance to maintain his optimism, to see beauty in a dark and destructive world, and to maintain a sense of life and happiness. 

Great Pit of Carkoon

I nearly had one of these moments yesterday when I ate a burrito so vile that I couldn’t even finish the entire thing.  I was so shaken and bothered that I felt like the world around me was closing in or that I was being swallowed by an imaginary hole in the ground reminiscent of the Great Pit of Carkoon in Return of the Jedi.   However, I thought about my family and friends and realized that I mustn’t give into this evil, but must continue on . . . to eat another burrito on another day.

This burrito was not some cockroach infested Fear Factor-esque meal, but rather the Tofu Spicy Bean burrito from Wahoo’s.  I should’ve suspected problems when I had to pay for chips and salsa.  No self-respecting taqueria does that to its customers.  The next clue that this meal was heading straight for disaster was the fact that one-half of the length of the tortilla was cold while the other half hot.  Inside, the beans and tofu looked and tasted like vomit spewed onto a bed of shredded lettuce and wrapped inside of a tortilla.  I tried my best to eat it, but left enough on the table to feed a small family. 

Being confronted with such an atrocity made me question this entire journal.  I had thought that burritos were the perfect food and they represented all that is good in this world.  Eating this rancid concoction made me question myself for ever having held such a belief.   It made a mockery of my diet, my values, and of me.  I felt like a beaten man.

  

Just as I was about to hang my head in defeat, my brother told me about a taqueria that made burritos so special, that they put two entire taquitos inside of the tortilla.  Hearing this made me realize that I need to continue on, to fight for the cause of rice, of beans, and the burrito way of life.  I refuse to let one shitty burrito affect my outlook on the world.  I must persevere and continue on this quest because without the burrito, I am nothing.  

This Week
1/22- Homemade Breakfast Burrito, Spicky Chicken from Del Taco, 1/2 lb red from Del Taco
1/23- Pepitos, Veg-O Burrito
1/24- Wahoo's Tofu, Spicy Bean
1/26- Burrito Ranchero w/ Chicken, Las Brisas
1/28- Chicken Burrito, Tacos Jaliscos

A Gringo Week

I’ve been extremely busy at work these past couple of weeks and did not have the time for any Zen Burrito moments in which I got to contemplate the universe or philosophize about rice and beans.  I did however watch an episode of Man vs. Food that took place at a taqueria in Los Angeles.  In the episode, Adam highlighted and attacked a monstrous two tortilla "Manuel Special"that professes to be “the most famous burrito in L.A.”  Watch the first couple of minutes in this clip.

The Manuel Special

The episode made me realize that I’ve been playing in the minor leagues of the burrito world my entire life.  It made me understand my life’s quest (at least for 2012).  I’m ready to step up to the majors.  I must experience the Manuel Special in person. I must venture up the 5 freeway to a place the locals call "El Tepayac." There I believe I will find the true meaning of burritos . . .

This Week

I'm a little disappointed in my burrito selection for the week.  Like I said, I was really busy 

1/18- Chipotle Chicken Burrito (I really don't like this place, but I was along for the ride with my co-workers). 

1/19- Homemade Breakfast Burritos for dinner (chicken Sausage, turkey Bacon and Eggs- Damn Hippie!) [2]

1/20- Chicken Burrito with enchilada sauce from a place in Santa Ana that has been dubbed "The Mexican Sizzler"

1/21- Homemade Breakfast Burrito

Chili Verde by the Lake

Two months ago, we booked a cabin in Lake Arrowhead dreaming of snow, sledding and winter time.  We failed to anticipate that the two weeks preceeding our trip would be some of the hottest and dryest days since August.  Hence, no snow.  Along with the lack of snow, the trip didn't quite begin as planned.  We left the house much later than we'd hoped and had a couple of detours along the way, one of which was to Del Taco for some lunchtime burritos.

We arrived at the cabin in the afternoon, unpacked and made a fire.  At dinner time, we drove down to the only Mexican restaurant around and waited an hour for our table.  By the time we sat down, I was hungry and ready for a drink.   The margaritias were a bummer, but my Chile Verde burrito hit the spot.  It was a double fister in terms of gerth and length (don't worry, we're still talking about burritos) and covered in green enchilada sauce.  We're now back at the cabin and I'm ready to pass out. 

1/14- Chili Verde, Papa Gallo's
1/14- Del Taco 1/2 lb red
1/13- Del Taco 1/2 lb red
1/12- Trader Joes Frozen Breakfast Burrito
1/11- Salvadorian Chicken Burrito (weird beans that tasted like a blend of refried and baked with yellowish white rice
1/9- Trader Joes Frozen Breakfast Burrito

It was was 7:45 AM on a Friday.  I'd had three cups of coffee and no food at that point. The caffeine had reached the place in my bloodstream where it had begun to penetrate my brain.  I found myself entering the beginning stages of "coffee tweaker mode" desperately trying to regain control of my mind.  My thoughts were interrupting themselves, so I knew that I had to get some food quickly to absorb the caffeine and bring the coffee induced psychosis to a halt.

Anyway, I found myself in the middle of Santa Ana and called a friend who lived nearby.  I asked him to hook me up with a good local burrito connection.  He sent me to Pico de Gallo on 17th St.  I ordered the breakfast burrito with sausage and was extremely impressed that the restaurant had a full salsa bar at 7:50 AM.

The burrito had eggs, hash browns, sausage and cheese. To be honest, the hashbrowns were oily and there were way too many potatoes in the burrito.  The sausage wasn't special and there were no beans (which is important to me).  The size was pretty good, clocking in at 2 1/2 fists.  The biggest problem was that I couldn't finish the burrito as the bottom corner was soggy with oil.  I'd eat at this place again, but I'm not in any rush.

1/5/12- 1/2 lb red burrito from Del Taco (2)
1/5/12- Breakfast Burrito from Pico de Gallo, Santa Ana
1/4/12- Chicken Burrito from Las Brisas in Santa Ana.